Chili Recipe: "The Morning After Chil..i"

Tuesday, December 09, 2008 

Shamus' "The Morning After Chil...i" Current mood:  hot Category: Food and Restaurants Shamus’ “The Morning After Chil..i”  (Aka: “Wet Ass”, “28 days later”, “Ring of Fire”, “Bun-sen Burner”) Ingredients:.... 4 large cans crushed tomatoes w/ garlic etc 2 packages of ground turkey or beef 2 large packages of brats (or spicy Italian sausages) 2 large steaks 1 large package of Bacon ends Bag of yellow onions 2 packs of Chili mix 1 pack of chipotle powder 1 jar of minced Garlic 1 32oz jar of Jalapenos 1 pint of water 2 cans of Beans 1 bag shredded cheese .. .. Other spices to add;.... Crushed red peppers Garlic Powder Black Pepper Basil Chili powder (Half a container) Oregano Celery salt .. .. .. .. Directions:.... In a large kettle, Add tomatoes, chopped onions, chili mix, chipotle powder, minced garlic, jar of jalapenos, pint of water, beans, crushed red peppers, garlic powder, black pepper, basil, more chili powder, and oregano.  Let sit with lid on while preparing meat. .. .. Meat: Cook all bacon until very crispy Cook Steaks and Brats on grill until fully cooked Cook ground meat in pan on stove until fully cooked Season all meat with pepper while cooking. …. Cut up Steaks and Brats…add to kettle Add all gound meat to kettle Crush crispy bacon to bits, and add half of it to kettle.  Keep other half for “topping” .. .. Cooking:.... Cook on stove top at Medium heat for 3 hours…then drop temp to Low, and keep on stove for several more hours.  Stir regularly.  Let cool….and eat!  Top with Bacon bits & Cheese and you’re good to go! .. .. WARNING:  Your throat, mouth, lips, and facial region will burn from this chili.  If you have been exposed to this chili, you must continue to eat it rapidly to keep the burn at bay.  Drinking water only enhances the effects.  Do not drink water!  28 days later, your ass will continue to burn from this chili.  Every morning after the initial exposure, survivors will be reminded of the event by a phenomenon called “Wet Ass”….where no matter how many times you wipe, you still think your butt is wet.  Don’t be alarmed.  Your butt is actually just numb from the Jalapenos.  Eat more chili and you will forget about your ass.  Eat all the chili and You can kiss your ass goodbye!