Monday, August 31, 2009
 | Category: Blogging You can't make this shit up... After our show this past Saturday, I went to a local dive bar for some drinks (Ye Ol' Watering Hole, Northampton MA). I was drinking with a group of old friends for hours. Cheap pabst, free pool, and lots of good people I hadn't seen in a while. I stepped away to use the bathroom at the tail end of the night. The bathroom at Ye Ol' has 1 stall, as well as a trough like toilet about 4 feet wide with urinal cakes in it. The trough is positioned close to door of the stall, so it's always a little bit awkward when someone comes out of the stall causing the door to bump the person peeing in the trough. It's also awkward to pee in the trough with a row of dicks all trying not to splatter pee on each other. The bathroom sucks. Period. Anyway, I try to wait for the stall whenever possible....on with the rest of my story... I enter the bathroom, and notice that someone is in the stall. I decide to wait until this person is finished so that I can use the stall. I say out loud "I'm going to save us both the awkward moment and wait until your done in there so that I can use the stall after you". After that, i hear some grumbling in the stall, and I hear this person saying something that I can't understand. It sounded like this guy was talking to someone on his cell phone or something. It didn't sound like he was talking to me at all. I ask the guy if he's talking to me. I don't hear a reply. Then, about 5 seconds later, the stall door gets kicked open, and this guy flies out of the stall yelling and attacking me!! In a split second, I grab the guy as he jumps on me, and I throw him as hard as I can back in the direction he came from. My adrenalin must have been flowing pretty good because I tossed this guy clear off his feet...through the air...into the stall head first where he ended up smashing his head against the tile wall, and dropping like a bag of rocks onto the floor between the toilet and the wall. I then take the stall door, and slam it shut...holding it closed expecting this guy to get up and try to fight his way out to get me. I hold the door closed, and yell in "what the fuck are you doing attacking me?". i don't hear a response. Instead, I hear some painful grumbling coming from inside the stall. I open the door up, and see this guy holding his head in pain, laying on the floor, and looking all confused. He looks up at me and says in a british accent "I'm scared of YOU man!!" . I say again "why the fuck did you just attack me?". he then gets up and starts to explain why he did this. Apparently, there was a language barrier, and this guy thought I was "waiting for him to leave the stall because I was going to jump him". At this point, the bouncer rushes in because of all the noise in the bathroom. We're all standing around trying to figure out what the fuck is going on, and quickly realize it was all a misunderstanding. The end. |
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