13 Things You Should Know If you're a Supermodel that Wants To Date Me:
1) Okay, you’re hot. And?
2) You want me to take you where? (I'm broke! A trip to Paris just to show you how romantic I can be is NOT gonna happen...unless you're buying. Instead, here's a daisy.)
3) You are probably much hotter in a t-shirt than in a Christian Dior dress. (and yes..I had to look that name up)
4) Flirting with Brad Pitt is not okay.
5) I like to cook... you should like to eat sometime.
6) Your "problems" are kinda funny to me. (Sorry... here's a daisy.)
7) No, that doesn't make you look fat. Nothing makes you look fat..ever! Now, eat some of this amazing food I spent hours preparing.
8) While I do love your silky smooth 40+ inch legs, do you think you could try buying your own razor for a change? I'm afraid to take aspirin for fear that I might bleed to death after shaving my face.
9) Pillow fights with your 5 other supermodel friends is getting kinda old. Wait..actually..scratch that one. I'm just in a bad mood! sorry hunny...here's a daisy.
10) No, I will not wear makeup while escorting you to the Grammy's.
11) You're a freaking idiot if you think he's NOT hitting on you.
12) The mirror you had me install on the bedroom ceiling might be ok if you didn't always insist on missionary possition.
13) Your whole wardrobe can fit in a fanny pack...no way in hell am I going to haul 7 suitcases to my parents house for thanksgiving! ...don't cry....here's a daisy!!
2) You want me to take you where? (I'm broke! A trip to Paris just to show you how romantic I can be is NOT gonna happen...unless you're buying. Instead, here's a daisy.)
3) You are probably much hotter in a t-shirt than in a Christian Dior dress. (and yes..I had to look that name up)
4) Flirting with Brad Pitt is not okay.
5) I like to cook... you should like to eat sometime.
6) Your "problems" are kinda funny to me. (Sorry... here's a daisy.)
7) No, that doesn't make you look fat. Nothing makes you look fat..ever! Now, eat some of this amazing food I spent hours preparing.
8) While I do love your silky smooth 40+ inch legs, do you think you could try buying your own razor for a change? I'm afraid to take aspirin for fear that I might bleed to death after shaving my face.
9) Pillow fights with your 5 other supermodel friends is getting kinda old. Wait..actually..scratch that one. I'm just in a bad mood! sorry hunny...here's a daisy.
10) No, I will not wear makeup while escorting you to the Grammy's.
11) You're a freaking idiot if you think he's NOT hitting on you.
12) The mirror you had me install on the bedroom ceiling might be ok if you didn't always insist on missionary possition.
13) Your whole wardrobe can fit in a fanny pack...no way in hell am I going to haul 7 suitcases to my parents house for thanksgiving! ...don't cry....here's a daisy!!
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